Motives of Misbehavior: Why Children Act Up?
Submitted by John Chambers on Fri, 12/01/2006 - 5:45pm.
Early Childhood | Parenting
The university’s research says children can also misbehave when they are hungry, sick or tired.
“Try to keep a regular schedule so children eat meals at the same time, take naps if they need them and go to bed at a regular time each night,” the university states. “If a child is sick, it’s important that a parent or caregiver stay at home with them until they feel better.”
What do you do about misbehavior?
Parents should ask themselves how they feel when children act up, according to Parent Web site KidsGrowth.com (www.kidsgrowth.com).
“For example, when parents feel annoyed when their child disobeys, the youngster is probably seeking attention. Angry? Then power is the child’s ultimate goal. Feeling hurt by the child’s behavior? Then the youngster’s objective is revenge,” The Web site says. “Frustrated to the point of wanting to give up as a parent? Then the child believes they are inadequate and misbehave to confirm their feelings.
“Parents can respond with more effective discipline when they know why their child is misbehaving.”
To help stop misbehavior, the Madison Metropolitan School District (www.madison.k12.wi.us) in Wisconsin suggests spending more family time with children, reliable parenting and providing emotional and physical support.
The school district also suggests setting clear expectations of children and praising their accomplishments. If children do act out, the educational group recommends parents stay calm, enforce time-outs and add to chore lists.
“A common element to all discipline strategies discussed above is that the parent must remain calm, avoid arguing with the child and adopt a matter-of-fact tone with administering discipline,” the school district says.
Sources:
Allen, Rose; Swanson, Laurel. “Seven Reasons Children Misbehave.” University of Minnesota Extension Service. Cited 28 November 2006. www.extension.umn.edu/info-u/families/BE711.html.
“Dealing with Behavior.” KidsGrowth.com. Cited 28 November 2006. www.kidsgrowth.com/resouces/articledetail.cfm?id=119.
“Lesson 4. Why Children Misbehave.” The WonderWise Parent. Cited 28 November 2006. www.k-state.edu/wwparent/courses/rd/rd4.htm.
“Raising Successful Children: Strategies for Behavior and Discipline.” Madison Metropolitan School District. Cited 28 November 2006. www.madison.k12.wi.us/aod/Parenting.htm.
There has got to be a reason for all that crying, kicking, screaming and general misbehavior.
Even if university research, educational Web sites and other sources differ on why children act up, they all agree parents should try to find out what's behind it.
“Children misbehave for a reason. Being a parent can sometimes seem like being a detective,” according to The WonderWise Parent, an online resource created through Kansas State Research and Extension. “Why did my child do that? What is he trying to accomplish?
“If the behavior is accidental or if the child did not know it was unacceptable, then the behavior is not really misbehavior. Misbehavior involves deliberate disobedience to a reasonable limit.”
Deliberately acting out could be because:
- Children were rewarded for doing it;
- They are copying their parents;
- They are testing rules;
- Children are asserting themselves and independence;
- They are protecting themselves;
- Or children feel bad about themselves, according to The WonderWise Parent (www.k-state.edu/wwparent/wondhome.htm).
The university’s research says children can also misbehave when they are hungry, sick or tired.
“Try to keep a regular schedule so children eat meals at the same time, take naps if they need them and go to bed at a regular time each night,” the university states. “If a child is sick, it’s important that a parent or caregiver stay at home with them until they feel better.”
What do you do about misbehavior?
Parents should ask themselves how they feel when children act up, according to Parent Web site KidsGrowth.com (www.kidsgrowth.com).
“For example, when parents feel annoyed when their child disobeys, the youngster is probably seeking attention. Angry? Then power is the child’s ultimate goal. Feeling hurt by the child’s behavior? Then the youngster’s objective is revenge,” The Web site says. “Frustrated to the point of wanting to give up as a parent? Then the child believes they are inadequate and misbehave to confirm their feelings.
“Parents can respond with more effective discipline when they know why their child is misbehaving.”
To help stop misbehavior, the Madison Metropolitan School District (www.madison.k12.wi.us) in Wisconsin suggests spending more family time with children, reliable parenting and providing emotional and physical support.
The school district also suggests setting clear expectations of children and praising their accomplishments. If children do act out, the educational group recommends parents stay calm, enforce time-outs and add to chore lists.
“A common element to all discipline strategies discussed above is that the parent must remain calm, avoid arguing with the child and adopt a matter-of-fact tone with administering discipline,” the school district says.
Sources:
Allen, Rose; Swanson, Laurel. “Seven Reasons Children Misbehave.” University of Minnesota Extension Service. Cited 28 November 2006. www.extension.umn.edu/info-u/families/BE711.html.
“Dealing with Behavior.” KidsGrowth.com. Cited 28 November 2006. www.kidsgrowth.com/resouces/articledetail.cfm?id=119.
“Lesson 4. Why Children Misbehave.” The WonderWise Parent. Cited 28 November 2006. www.k-state.edu/wwparent/courses/rd/rd4.htm.
“Raising Successful Children: Strategies for Behavior and Discipline.” Madison Metropolitan School District. Cited 28 November 2006. www.madison.k12.wi.us/aod/Parenting.htm.
